LONG JUMPERS ARE ATHLETES, NOT ITEMS OF CLOTHING!

Which is what?

It has been brought to my attention that not everyone (hardly anyone) across the globe refers to jumpers as jumpers. Some people call jumpers sweaters; sometimes WE call jumpers sweaters! There seems to be no formula dictating when an Englishman refers to a wool overgarment as a sweater or a jumper (or pullover?) , nevertheless, we do use several terms to describe what is essentially, the same item. Our American compatriots, however, are a lot more consistent in their addressing of such garments; a sweater is a sweater is a sweater (to coin a phrase, undoubtedly, never to be used again) Not wanting to marginalise our American cousins, I would like to point out that Woolovers USA is fully functional and open for business! We shall be gradually tailoring the site for our friends across the Atlantic (dropping all the ‘U’s from colour etc. – which will no doubt lessen our carbon footprint no end) but you can already find all of our products in your native currency as well as localised postal information (delivery times and prices – not when your local postman is threatening strike action).

So for a veritable fiesta of all things sweater, cardigan, wool vest and such, please pay a visit to WoolOvers USA , where you will find all manner of British wool, cashmere, merino, lambswool and silk & cotton wares to keep you feeling warm and looking SUPER AWESOME, as no Americans would probably say…

Black Cardigan News: A scien-terrific breakthrough!

Right. Something INCREDIBLE is happening at Wool Overs HQ; we’re now a offering a Shop By Colour service for all of our jumpers and cardigans. What does this mean? Well, it’s fairly complex, so I shall walk you through it. We sell jumpers. Not only that, but we also sell cardigans. These aforementioned jumpers and cardigans come in a number of different colours. Still with me? Good. Now, these different jumper and cardigan colours have UP TILL NOW, been all mixed up and separated into style groups. By style groups, I mean both individual garment styles, such as Lambswool V-neck sweater, as well as larger, general style ‘genres’, such as Cardigan or Crew Neck. Still following? EXCELENT. Well, that’s all well and good if you’re, say, looking for a cardigan of some description, or a V neck sweater, but WHAT IF…. what if, you’re looking for a jumper, ANY jumper (or cardigan), in a particular colour? What can you do? Traditionally, you’d have to mooch around a shop or website (can you mooch around a website?) having to search the rails and racks of jumpers and cardigans, using your own eyes to seek out your chosen colour (a terrible waste of valuable energy). This could lead to dangerous levels of tedium and/or frustration that MIGHT, in severe cases, lead to terminal grumpiness. Luckily, at Wool Overs, we have a developed a BRAND NEW SYSTEM for separating all of our jumpers and cardigans into COLOURS.

This revolutionary process has come through years of testing, more testing, evaluating, experiments and more testing. Now, and only now, through using a combination of both maths and science, we have managed to isolate different colours of jumper and sweater and given them their OWN PAGE on our website. So, what does this mean in real terms? Well, let’s take black cardigans for example: if you were, per chance looking for a black cardigan, you might think “hmm, I really need a black cardigan for that thing I’m going to. But where can I go for said black cardigan without having to trawl through countless OTHER colours of cardigan?”. Thankfully, the answer is STARING YOU IN THE FACE! Head straight to our specialist Black Cardigan page, and you can peruse just short of a million* different Black Cardigan designs that we have on offer. We’re talking cashmere, we’re talking lambswool, we’re talking silk & cotton. The only black cardigan we DON’T have, is the evil acrylic one that creates so much static, it micro-perms your nasal hair (see ‘Axis of Evil’ post).
And that’s just the beginning! Want a green jumper of some description? Well LOOK NO FURTHER! What about a red cardigan? You want any cardigan, as long as it’s red, abut you want to see a load of them all in one place. IMPOSSIBLE, SURELY. Not any more, with our non-patented Shop By Colour system. Need a navy or blue cardigan? (let’s face it, why WOULDN’T you need one?) no problem! We have a special blue Cardigan page, specifically designed to feature only our Navy and pale blue cardigans! AND DON’T FORGET!!! If you want a black jumper, we have (you’ve guessed it) a unique Black Jumper page with every type of black jumper you can imagine! Shameless promotion?! YOU BET! Actually at all useful? YOU DECIDE!!

Shop by Colour – IT’LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER

*by just short of a million, I mean 16

The Axis of Evil

Good morning. After extensive investigations involving 4 different surveillance operations over 3 continents, I can finally reveal the source of the biggest single threat to comfortable, naturally sustainable wool jumpers: The ACRYLIC SHEEP.

I’ve been tracking this beast for over 3 years, using covert farm hands, undercover shepherds, hidden cameras and various wires, and have now pinned down this particular mutant breed to a ‘farm’ in Somerset. Except it’s NOT a farm; it’s a laboratory hidden inside a big shed.
These test-tube sheep have been the source of millions of horrible acrylic sweaters since the late 70’s.  The breed is known in the trade as ‘Lambswoolique P-X55-8i’. Arrests have been made, but suffice it to say, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT ILLEGAL ACRYLIC SHEEP FACTORIES, PLEASE CONTACT YOUR LOCAL POLICE (MOST FORCES HAVE A DEDICATED ‘SYNTHETIC SHEEP’ TEAM YOU CAN CALL DIRECTLY, OR EMAIL ME IN COMPLETE CONFIDENCE, AND I WILL CONTACT THE APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES)

Together we can stamp out this vile practice ONCE AND FOR ALL.

Well, here we are.

There is a bit of a chill in the air.  The end of summer? No. There’s a bit of a chill in the air as I have the air-conditioning’s on full.  I’m conducting an experiment to see how warm various jumpers are. Sound like fun? It’s not really. I’m currently wearing a ladies cropped cardigan (in cerise) which is figure hugging, to say the least.  It’s approximately the 20th of about 90 garments that my boss insists on me wearing, to ensure that we’re maintaining “the high levels of extreme cosiness”, that are expected from our devoted customers.  You see, I work for a British Knitwear company called Wool Overs, who have been producing lovely jumpers and cardigans for over 20 years now.  My boss, whom insists on everyone calling him “Mr. Wool” (no-one knows his real name) is obsessed with wool. Well, sweaters and cardigans to be precise. And precise he is; that’s why I’m made to do all these crazy tests.  Last week he had me hanging upside down from the warehouse roof in a blueberry V-neck jumper

How Argyle jumpers are made.

, with the only the arms attached by hooks  in order to make sure the seams are strong enough. Then we had to try and stretch a lemon lambswool polo from one end of the warehouse to the other, to see if it held it’s shape. Suffice it to say, it did not. Not that anyone expected it to, but, as Mr. Wool says; “It’s all valuable data, Mike! It’s imperative we continue to carry out these important tests so we can take jumper making to the next level and the next level after that and then to the NEXT level and..”  Well, you get the general idea.  Anyway, I’ve got to pop to the garage now for a few litres of super-unleaded.  We’re doing flamability tests on our entire cashmere range this afternoon, and guess who has to walk - sorry – ROLL over the hot coals? Old muggins, that’s who…

WM